“It’s frightening to think about having a potentially life-threatening disease,” says Jack David Marcus, 75, a prostate cancer survivor who volunteers at the New York City chapter of Us Too International, a nonprofit organization that aims to provide knowledge, empowerment, compassion, collaboration, encouragement, and hope to men with prostate cancer and their families. “It’s tough on the cancer fighter and [their loved ones].” But the important thing to remember is that there are things you can do to help cope with treatment for prostate cancer, Marcus says. Find a good doctor at a good medical center, he says, and you’re off to a good start. “Just like you have to sort out the medical problems, you have to deal with the psychological needs, too,” says Michael J. Morris, MD, a medical oncologist at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York City. That applies to not only the man with cancer but also his family and friends. In men, prostate cancer is the most common cancer and the second leading cause of death. But unlike other cancers, it usually grows slowly. You have time to search for a type of care that can treat your cancer without destroying your quality of life. Here are a few ways to do just that.
1. Learn what to expect.
A diagnosis of prostate cancer can upend your life. Your plans can suddenly change, and you may be overwhelmed by what the future might hold. If that’s the case, talk to your doctor and learn as much as you can about your diagnosis. Ask your doctor to write down the name and stage of your cancer, says the National Cancer Institute (NCI). This will tell you the size of the tumor and if it’s spread to other parts of your body. By knowing this information, you can work with your doctor to decide which treatment options are best for you. You should also ask your doctor as many questions as you need. Write down your questions and take them with you to your office visit, says the NCI, but ask your most important questions first, in case your doctor runs out of time. Don’t worry if they seem silly; they deserve an answer. Sometimes the information and treatment options can be difficult to understand or remember. Take a family member or friend with you who can also listen and learn. Or, ask your doctor if it’s okay to record your conversation so you can review the answers to your questions later. Schedule another appointment with your doctor if more questions come up.
2. Try to keep up with your daily routine.
If you work and are feeling up to it, try to go — even if it’s not for the entire day. Talk to your boss, coworkers, or fellow volunteers about what you can handle. Remember that people who seem unsupportive might be worried about their own chances of getting cancer. Decide if you’d rather avoid talking about cancer or be open about it. Do whatever feels right for you. Spend time with family and friends or go on a trip. Ask yourself some simple questions: What makes me happy? What do I enjoy? Or do the things you haven’t had time for, such as going on a cruise, learning to play chess, or finding time to pick up that old guitar. “Any form of exercise is a good thing,” Dr. Morris says. So is meditation and mindfulness training. “Some people find enormous assistance and relief from these therapies,” he says. Regarding diet, some experts speculate that there’s a link between Western, high-fat diets and prostate cancer, Morris says. It’s not known whether a healthy diet can reduce the likelihood of relapse, but it certainly can’t hurt.
4. Find a therapist or support group.
For Marcus, finding a support group changed his thinking entirely. “It was like manna from heaven,” he says. “I’d never met anyone diagnosed with prostate cancer before. And I was frightened.” He went to a hospital support group and then discovered Us Too. “This made dealing with prostate cancer much easier for me.” Large metropolitan medical centers are likely to have social workers, therapists, and psychiatrists on staff or nearby. In less populated areas, you might need to seek out this help on your own — and it may not be covered by your insurance. Us Too, which has chapters around the country, offers monthly meetings with expert speakers on different aspects of prostate cancer. Other helpful groups include CancerCare, a national organization that offers free support and information for people with cancer. CancerCare provides professional support services — including counseling, support groups, educational workshops, publications, and financial assistance — to people affected by cancer. All of the services are provided by oncology social workers and leading cancer experts. Another organization, devoted exclusively to prostate cancer, is Zero — The End of Prostate Cancer, a nonprofit with a mission to end prostate cancer. It aims to create what it calls Generation Zero, the “first generation of men free from prostate cancer.”
5. Explore alternative therapies.
At Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, where Morris practices, people have access to complementary and alternative medicine (CAM), which includes herbal and nutritional therapies. “People are always looking for something they can do from a lifestyle perspective to complement traditional prostate cancer treatment,” he says. They might also try acupuncture or other nonconventional treatments, such as spiritual activities. The key issue is safety, Morris says. “You need to make sure you’re safe using complementary approaches. Look for good communication between oncologists and complementary medicine experts.” And the potential risks of CAM therapies are real. “Some complementary agents can have deleterious effects,” Morris says. Overall, men with prostate cancer should work on their health more broadly, he says. “The healthier you are, the better equipped you’ll be to live your life well and fight your disease.”
