For those who haven’t been to an AA meeting, it’s the kind of place where you can sit among strangers and friends, all with at least one important thing in common. You can say out loud how difficult it is to have lost a job, suffered the death of a loved one, or you can say just how grateful you are to be sober for another day. Being unable to attend those groups, to hear those shared expressions of hardship and hope from familiar faces, makes sticking with a recovery program all the more difficult during the COVID-19 shutdown. AA’s recovery success is based on a triangle, with the three sides representing fellowship, recovery, and service. Community is at the core of what makes it work. It’s the glue. We need each other to be held accountable, to offer support to one another. “When someone is trying to recover and doesn’t have regular contact with other recovering alcoholics, their recovery process is drastically impacted in a negative way,” says Brad Sullivan, a member from Rhode Island and a former addiction recovery coach. Not having the support received from regular meetings is like “a plant not getting sunlight,” says Sullivan. “I miss the contact of people, my friends, and the enriching feeling that doing service for others gives me.” Online meetings are available through Zoom, and links can be found at the AA Intergroup website. But, there have been privacy issues that come along with these meetings, as well as technological difficulties similar to what students across the country are facing when asked to participate in distance learning. Plus, not everyone has a smartphone, a tablet, a computer, or internet access. Attending an online meeting serves as a reminder that holed-up across your town, your country, and all over the world, there are other folks like you yearning to share and hear the experience, strength and hope. It’s a reminder that, after this is all over, we’ll still be here. For me, the online meetings aren’t the same, but it’s one of the few options available. Anthony, a member with over 15 years since his last drink who lives in San Francisco — which is also on lockdown — says that while some people get a lot out of these meetings, something about them just doesn’t work for him. Instead, he relies on phone calls to his sponsor and other members. He says the most important thing for all of us, especially folks like myself who are less established in the program, is to reach out. “Call, call, call. A phone call can be so impactful, a phone call can mean the difference between giving in or pushing through the darkness.” This is why I call Anthony, and Brad, and many others who will remain anonymous. Every day I reach out to friends, check in on family, join video chats with a group of buddies from college. I meditate. I walk and run. I eat healthy. As I say to friends, I am doing all the things. What’s clear is that we’ve all undergone a massive shift, and we’re doing the best we can. Though I’ve never been one to go to daily meetings, I miss the handshakes at my Monday night group, the freedom I felt after starting my day with a 6 a.m. meeting downtown, and how my perspective shifted so much between when I entered those rooms and left an hour later. But there are a few things about those in recovery that may make us better suited for what’s happening now than most. Our lives revolve around caring for ourselves in order to be ready to care for others. We strive for opportunities to serve our communities. We’ll always pick up the phone, and talk about today, about how all we need is one 24-hour reprieve, how we only need to do the next right thing. I’m not sure there’s anyone better to learn from than a recovering alcoholic. No matter what is happening outside of ourselves, we do what we can, one day at a time. The author opted to forego his anonymity for the sake of this article.
