It’s my way of getting on with life and living the best of it, multiple sclerosis (MS) and all. Most of the people in my MS community around the world seem to live by much the same ethos. We don’t like having this disease, but we try our best not to let it define us even if it may limit us. But now and again, I am struck dead-on by the disease — either by what it is doing to me, or by seeing what it has done to others. It’s then that my deep-seated hatred of multiple sclerosis bubbles up, grabs me by the throat, and chokes my rational being. I hate MS!
The Times My MS Hatred Bubbles Up
I hate MS when I see a young person’s path blocked by the disease. Even if that person is able to find their way around, over, or under a particular obstacle, I know that there will be far too many more in their path in years to come. I hate MS when I see strong, intelligent, passionate people set aside by a society that doesn’t understand that they still have much to give. I hate MS every time my literal and figurative steps toward my intended target are slowed or stopped by the disease. I hate to see people with multiple sclerosis in pain, whether physical pain caused by the disease and its symptoms or emotional pain brought on by so many MS-related factors. Or both.
A Few More Things I Hate About MS
I hate what MS does to families. I hate that MS has been the cause of the early exit from this life of so many of my friends. I hate that the disease seems to know the dastardliest symptom for each of us and turns our strengths against us. I hate the weights MS puts around my being so that the journey to an event sucks dry the energy reserves I was holding back for the thing itself. I hate that I dream about multiple sclerosis when I sleep. I hate that the meds for MS slow it but don’t stop it. I hate that I feel any of such a negative emotion as hate due to anything in my life.
Actually, I Feel a Little Better Now
That feels better! Much as I said in a post I wrote many (many) years ago about being tired of MS, it’s sometimes not a bad idea to let it all out in a primal scream of rage. Then I can get on with living the life that is still in front of me and in front of all of us. Altered as my life may be by the disease I hate, living with MS is still better than the alternative. There is good in every day. MS just tends to make it more difficult to see sometimes. I hate that too. Wishing you and your family the best of health. Cheers, Trevis
